Full Transcript

00;00;18;20 - 00;00;32;20
Aunty Ky
Welcome back to Being MissUnderstood. This is Aunty Ky inviting you to join us for part one of episode three. We're calling this one Identity Crisis, How to Move Forward when Facing Sudden Life Changes.

00;00;39;02 - 00;00;55;08
Aunty Ky
The music for today is Contrast by TAKUDZWA. As always, the information will be linked on the episode page. You can also read the transcript for this episode on the info page as well.

00;01;14;07 - 00;01;48;04
Aunty Ky
An exciting day where we have Marla Green, the founder and CEO of Educatrix Advanced Practice Seminars LLC. Her company conducts continuing education events for nurse practitioners, registered nurses, and physician assistants to maintain their licenses and certifications. Her inspiration to start the company came from a combination of experiences from her personal life journey and 25 years of professional work in the health care industry, which I'm very excited to talk with her about today.

00;01;48;12 - 00;02;01;07
Aunty Ky
I think that both laypersons and health care professionals have a lot to gain from learning about her story. And with that being said, I'd like to introduce you to Marla Green. How are you doing today?

00;02;02;04 - 00;02;06;04
Marla Green
I'm great. Thank you for such a wonderful introduction. I really appreciate it.

00;02;06;05 - 00;02;26;00
Aunty Ky
Oh, not a problem at all. I mean, you have such an interesting story, so I hope that the introduction will fit that because I'm just really excited to have you here today and to let you speak more about yourself and your own journey. Can you tell everyone a bit about yourself and your professional background?

00;02;26;28 - 00;02;39;27
Marla Green
Sure, umm. A little bit about me personally. I am a mother of two. One. I have a ten year old son and then I have a four legged animal that I consider myself a mother of...

00;02;39;27 - 00;02;41;09
Aunty Ky
Of course, of course.

00;02;41;21 - 00;02;48;10
Marla Green
He's a goldendoodle. And you know, he gives me more grief than my ten year old. So I can't forget him.

00;02;48;17 - 00;02;53;13
Aunty Ky
I heard... I don't actually have pets myself, but I heard that they're like keeping toddlers 24/7.

00;02;53;24 - 00;02;56;28
Marla Green
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

00;03;00;03 - 00;03;07;01
Marla Green
If you decide to have children get a pet first and that will you know give you a good idea of what children are going to be like.

00;03;07;03 - 00;03;08;02
Aunty Ky
Right. Right.

00;03;08;06 - 00;03;27;25
Marla Green
Yeah. In my own professional background, umm, ever since I was little, I always knew that I wanted to be a nurse. I was one of the lucky ones. So I kind of worked my way up. I started as a candy striper, and you know you're probably too young to know what a candy striper is.

00;03;29;10 - 00;03;30;18
Aunty Ky
I'm not familiar with it.

00;03;31;05 - 00;03;50;01
Marla Green
Yeah, Yeah. And then, umm , I've worked front desk at a medical office, umm, worked as a medical assistant. I finally went to umm, school to be a registered nurse, got my bachelors, and then went back and got my masters, so.

00;03;50;12 - 00;04;09;05
Aunty Ky
Okay, that's awesome. So that was one thing that I was wondering, because a lot of your first initial experiences were more like the logistical sides of health care. But it's really cool to know that you always knew you wanted to have a role where you're one on one with patients. And I guess doing those other positions didn't deter you from that.

00;04;09;14 - 00;04;23;09
Marla Green
Yes, it just drove me more. Umm, I actually even did birth certificates for a little while. That was a little rough, but that just confirmed my decision that I knew I couldn't be a labor and delivery nurse. So.

00;04;24;15 - 00;04;31;15
Aunty Ky
Yeah, I've seen too much Paternity Court. So my, my brain is going a whole lot of places thinking about the interesting things you might’ve run into.

00;04;32;04 - 00;04;32;19
Marla Green
Yes.

00;04;33;21 - 00;04;56;03
Aunty Ky
Obviously you had a lot of experiences that confirmed your love for being one on one with patients, and in the nursing career. But we spoke about before that, it came to a pretty abrupt ending in 2016. And that's something I would love for the listeners to hear about, you know, to the degree that you feel comfortable.

00;04;56;07 - 00;05;19;14
Marla Green
Sure, sure. umm, I was driving down I 75 South. I had just bought a new house, so I had taken the day off to move into my new house and to get some other things done. So if you've ever been on I 75 in Atlants then you know that it can be very busy even in the middle of the day.

00;05;20;05 - 00;05;50;24
Marla Green
It was Memorial Day weekend umm, in 2016, and I had just gotten my hair done. Umm, and I was loving my hair, you know, driving along in a really good mood since, we were transitioning from an apartment to a house. And so there was an 18 wheeler behind me and so I was in the right lane. The left lane was going a little bit better than we were.

00;05;50;24 - 00;06;14;10
Marla Green
They were flowing a little bit better. So we had stopped in the right lane. And the left lane, like I said, you know, was flowing. So the 18 wheeler that was behind me decided to go into the left lane and didn't realize that we had come to a complete stop. And so when he was transitioning, like I said, we were stopped.

00;06;14;10 - 00;06;35;20
Marla Green
And so he rear ended me. And so that caused a four car accident. And it bent the frame of my Jetta. That's what I was driving and I, And I love that car. But anyway, umm, bent the frame of my Jetta, thankfully I was the only one in the car because at that time my son was three.

00;06;36;10 - 00;06;36;26
Aunty Ky
Right?

00;06;36;27 - 00;06;58;02
Marla Green
So, you know, at the time, you know, I was able to, get out of the car and walk around. And I didn't realize how badly I was hurt. So I did go to get checked out. I drove myself... a police officer stopped. So, you know, he said that,, my car was drivable as long as I didn't drive it too far.

00;06;58;18 - 00;07;17;25
Marla Green
So I just went to a walk in clinic. They didn't do any X-rays or anything. They just, looked me over and they were like, okay, go home and rest. I didn't remember hitting my head on anything... so, but before the end of the weekend, I ended up in the E.R. I was having difficulty walking.

00;07;18;21 - 00;07;42;28
Marla Green
Umm, my pain had become severe. It was I mean, it was like nothing that I had ever felt before. And I had been in car accidents previously, but this was different. By Tuesday, umm, since I had been in the E.R., they did get me in to see orthopedics. And, it just kind of went from there.

00;07;42;28 - 00;08;06;25
Marla Green
Saw multiple doctors, pain management, umm, had surgery, umm, had a disc in my neck that was bulging. And so they had to fuze two discs in my neck together. And so over the course of the months, umm, you know, it became apparent that I wasn't going back to work.

00;08;06;27 - 00;08;25;09
Aunty Ky
Right. That was going to be my next question, because I'm wondering, did you try to immediately jump back into work or was the days after the accident just so painful or just... you were tired or fatigued or whatever it may be that you never tried to jump back in?

00;08;25;09 - 00;08;48;22
Marla Green
Oh, yeah. I tried to go back to work and, they told me I, I shouldn't, but, I'm hardheaded. And, you know, most in my opinion, most health care workers are type-A personality and, we're we're stubborn. We we're we are get it done, people. Right.

00;08;49;06 - 00;09;11;16
Marla Green
And so I was like, okay, you said, I can't, I need to. I'm a single mom and head of the household. My mom, was living with us at the time because I had to take call umm, at night. And so, you know, she was there as my backup to help take care of, my three year old.

00;09;12;07 - 00;09;32;22
Marla Green
And so I was like, I don't have a choice. Like, I need to go back to work. And like I said, I've have, you know, car accidents before. And, you know, I was able to go back to work within a couple of days. Of course, I had physical therapy, throughout the months. But it's not like I just wasn't ever able to go back to work.

00;09;33;11 - 00;09;36;29
Marla Green
And I tried. I went back to work and I didn’t even last the morning.

00;09;36;29 - 00;09;57;11
Aunty Ky
I'm telling you I was about to say... I was about to stay because I've been in that situation before. Sometimes even something as minor as a headache or something, I will be like, Oh yeah, I'm good. Few hours later, that was not the case. It's like you would have been better just calling out and staying home and letting people figure out what they needed to do regarding coverage.

00;09;57;11 - 00;10;20;08
Aunty Ky
Then them expecting that they can rely upon you for that day and realizing that it wasn't it. So word of advice to everybody out there, just just slow down long enough to listen to your body, because when you don't, it just all goes downhill. And it doesn't just affect you, it affects other people around you, too. So if you need the help, if you need to slow down, just take that time.

00;10;20;08 - 00;10;22;09
Aunty Ky
It's not going to kill everything, I promise.

00;10;22;09 - 00;10;49;03
Marla Green
Right. Right. And, you know, as a side note, thankfully, I think that that has been one positive thing that has come out of COVID is that it's kind of given people permission, to stay at home. You know, if you don't feel well, you know, I can't say that as a blanket statement across all the industries, because unfortunately, I know that some people were forced to go to work, even though they did have COVID symptoms.

00;10;50;06 - 00;10;53;23
Aunty Ky
Mm hmm. But it was a big lesson for us all.

00;10;53;23 - 00;11;15;28
Marla Green
Right. But, for the majority of us, right. It was a big lesson for us all. Stay at home if you don't feel well, just keep on pushing through. So, yeah, umm, I didn't last. I had to go to my doctor and tell him, you know, Hey, I'm sorry. I thought that I could make it, but I was wrong.

00;11;16;03 - 00;11;24;29
Marla Green
I was really wrong. So he let me go home, and that was the last time that I worked in that office.

00;11;26;04 - 00;12;10;27
Aunty Ky
Wow. That must have been. I don't know how I would have felt. That must have been really crazy and potentially disheartening for you to have gone through that. I know that you were coming to your own understanding of just how serious your injuries were and what that road to recovery would look like. Do you feel that the health care professionals that were helping to inform you about, you know, what was going on with the disk and in other situations and what physical therapy would look like, just how long it would take you to be back to a degree of functionality where you could start making some of those tough decisions about where to work, how to

00;12;10;27 - 00;12;16;02
Aunty Ky
work, and... and how long it would take you to even be back to some of those basic functions.

00;12;16;15 - 00;12;53;28
Marla Green
No. Umm, It's hard, though, in their defense, it's hard as a provider to know when you're going to be able to go back to work. Right. Because there is no crystal ball. And especially because, like with me, they had a hard time figuring out what was the cause of so much pain. I mean, like, today, I mean, even they still haven't figured out why I'm in so much pain.

00;12;54;11 - 00;13;42;06
Marla Green
So... Yeah, it was difficult for them to figure out. And I think another part of them doesn't want to say, Hey, you can't go back to work. It's, it's like a catch 22 unfortunately to my knowledge, I'm going to say, and in my experience there are no quote unquote disability doctors. Right. And no doctor really wants to be saddled with all the disability paperwork and, you know, really saying, yes, you're disabled unless you're like really, really disabled.

00;13;42;21 - 00;13;53;29
Marla Green
Because that can lead to like litigation and, you know, things that they really don't want to get mixed up in.

00;13;54;24 - 00;14;24;11
Aunty Ky
Yeah, that is something that I've been thinking about is that gray area for people who don't have the sorts of disabilities where you can just immediately see and point out, Oh, look, this person is missing a leg or this person has you know, they scored so low on certain tests or exams that it's obvious that their functionality is very impaired in terms of decision making and things like that.

00;14;25;09 - 00;14;53;06
Aunty Ky
But for those who are kind of invisible and in between where it's what you carry inside of you versus what you just present physically to the world, that doesn't mean that, you know, people don't need the help and support, but where do you draw the line and where do you put your name and your credibility for that individual when some of this stuff is just self-report and belief in the patient themselves about the difficulties that they're facing?

00;14;53;12 - 00;14;54;05
Marla Green
Absolutely.

00;14;54;15 - 00;15;31;10
Aunty Ky
So it does tap into an interesting area of professional ethics that I've even come up against in regards to my own health care needs. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I can't remember maybe a year and a half or so. And that is literally a chronic pain condition where there is not enough research about the origins, but it's more neurological based, meaning that it's not a physical external stimulus or injury that has occurred to muscle groups or to the tissues and things like that.

00;15;31;10 - 00;16;08;14
Aunty Ky
But instead, your body receiving regular stimulus, for instance, working out or taking a walk or needing to use your strength to push and pull something, but responding to it in overdrive as if you had ran a marathon and the pain is very, very real. But how do you tease out who is seriously experiencing that pain or who might just be trying to say something because they want that attention or they want this intervention or whatever it may be, But for many people it can be absolutely debilitating, but it's not something you can look at a person and see.

00;16;09;19 - 00;16;45;10
Aunty Ky
They might not be in a wheelchair, they might not have a cane or a crutch or anything like that because there's good days and bad days. It's not a physical thing they're recovering from. It's purely internal. And I know I've had difficulties just with that alone, but I could not imagine being in the situation where you're in recovery from something that was very serious and very traumatizing directly to your life and just taking it day by day, trying to figure out what your needs are and how to get them met and have, you know, the professionals by your side as your teammates in that journey and for them to feel confident in you.

00;16;45;18 - 00;16;47;09
Marla Green
Also with fibromyalgia.

00;16;47;24 - 00;17;12;20
Marla Green
At least it used to be, you know, it's a diagnosis of exclusion. Right, so it's not like there's any one test, that people go, Oh, yeah, you have fibromyalgia, right? They usually have to test you, for several different things, before, you know they're willing to say, okay, you have fibromyalgia.

00;17;13;03 - 00;17;13;08
Aunty Ky
Yeah.

00;17;13;20 - 00;17;48;17
Marla Green
And, and like you said, you know, these pain syndrome.Umm, these pain syndrome, I don't want to say diseases, [...] let's say illnesses. These pain syndrome illnesses are so difficult, not only for, those of us living with them, but it's also difficult for the provider also because just like you said, there's people who are out there that just want to scam the system.

00;17;48;25 - 00;18;00;07
Marla Green
They just want to be on disability just because or, pain(drug**) seeking or, or or. Umm, so yeah, it's it's very difficult.

00;18;01;17 - 00;18;30;25
Aunty Ky
I bet it wasn't just difficult for you in the physical sense of trying to monitor day by day and figure out your needs and what support would help to mitigate those circumstances. But going through a situation like that is also mentally and emotionally traumatic and life changing. What were some of the difficulties that you had, especially considering that you were walking away from work mentally and emotionally for you over the course of those months?

00;18;32;03 - 00;19;08;03
Marla Green
I was devastated. I didn't know who I was. Umm, I felt hopeless and helpless and really just not necessary. And, you know, for a while there, I was desperate. I was desperate to go back to work. I can distinct remember that there was some test or procedure, you know, that they were trying to do. And I couldn't find a ride.

00;19;09;09 - 00;19;29;09
Marla Green
And I remember calling one of my coworkers, trying to ask them to take me to this procedure because that's just how desperate I was to go back to work.

00;19;30;14 - 00;19;41;22
Aunty Ky
Yeah. Do you feel that your personal sense of self and recognition of who you were, that that identity aspect was tied with your professional life?

00;19;42;03 - 00;20;13;04
Marla Green
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I. I was a nurse, right? I mean, I was a nurse practitioner. That's who I was. That's who. That's all I ever wanted to be. You take that away and who am I? I mean, sure, I'm a mom, but I had only been one for three years. I had been a nurse in my heart my whole life.

00;20;14;03 - 00;20;48;25
Aunty Ky
Because even if you weren't necessarily directly in the field, it was the pursuit of those dreams, the pursuit of that goal and the accomplishment of it. That was still the, I guess, the motivation of what you were doing and what's next. What's next was always chasing after that goal right? Once you realized that going back to work wasn't for you in terms of returning to being a nurse practitioner, how did you find something new To be motivated by?

00;20;51;05 - 00;21;21;08
Marla Green
Umm, my son was my reason for going on. Umm, you know, I had wanted a child for so long and then, he was there. And so I, I knew that I had to keep going for him, even though part of me had kind of checked out for the ...you know for the most part, I wasn't. And by checked out, I mean that I wasn't as present in his life as I was before the accident.

00;21;22;12 - 00;21;23;21
Aunty Ky
I get that.

00;21;23;21 - 00;22;04;11
Marla Green
My mom and my dad and my step mom had become more present in his life than I was. I still did, you know, the daily stuff got him dressed, fed him, blah, blah, blah. But I was going through the motions. I wasn't ... I wasn't being fully present. And then as far as finding something new, umm, I, I tried a couple of things to find something new because, again, you know, I was I was desperate to make money. So I had long term disability from my job.

00;22;04;26 - 00;22;11;12
Marla Green
But, long term disability only pays. I believe it was 66%.

00;22;11;29 - 00;22;15;09
Aunty Ky
Something like 60% of your regular salary.

00;22;16;03 - 00;22;44;24
Marla Green
Right and then, it's not like, the money just flows in and you know, you're like, okay, I can count on that every week or two weeks. No, you have to fill out forms for that. And then you have to wait for that stuff to be approved. There's somebody at a desk looking at those forms and looking at the doctor's notes and deciding whether or not it's justified that you're not working.

00;22;46;02 - 00;23;07;05
Marla Green
So not only did I have a doctor questioning, you know, whether or not, I could work, then, I also had somebody behind the desk on the other side of a file who were, looking over these records and deciding whether or not, I really couldn't work.

00;23;07;28 - 00;23;09;12
Aunty Ky
And that's so impersonal.

00;23;09;23 - 00;23;41;25
Marla Green
Yes. It is so impersonal and just, you know, so frustrating. So I tried to sell clothes and so, you know, I tried, but I'm not a salesperson. So, yeah, that that failed pretty quickly. So then the next thing I tried was I tried to do books because I'm passionate about literacy and my son has been able to read ever since.

00;23;41;25 - 00;23;44;01
Marla Green
He was like two or three.

00;23;44;02 - 00;23;44;25
Aunty Ky
That's awesome.

00;23;45;03 - 00;24;15;18
Marla Green
Always passionate about literacy. So I got involved with Usborne books and, loved it. But again, I'm not a sales person, right? So that didn't work. So then, umm,  I tried doing something else in between. I don't remember what it was, but that didn't work either. And then I saw an ad about health coaching, so I was like, okay, let me see if, you know, if I can do this.

00;24;15;18 - 00;24;40;29
Marla Green
That seems like something I can do, You know, helping people with their health that's more aligned with the nursing thing, that sounds good. So I contacted the lady who I saw the ad for and was talking to her and the conversation turned into talking about me and my health journey. And I was like, wait a minute.

00;24;40;29 - 00;25;03;27
Marla Green
Like I wasn't supposed to be talking about me. I'm talking about a job and I'll never forget it, that, she was like, people who you’ll help to get healthy, they'll want you to be healthy, too, and they'll want to ask you about your health journey. Okay, I get it.

00;25;04;06 - 00;25;23;20
Marla Green
And so she was like, you know, you need to work on your health, too. Okay. I think I'm healthy, but, whatever. I can ... can lose a few pounds because at that point I thought that being healthy meant weight, health equals weight. So I was like, okay, whatever.

00;25;23;20 - 00;25;49;01
Marla Green
I’ll lose the pounds. And so, as I learned to be a health coach, I realized that being healthy had much more to do with personal development than it has to do with weight. Like health does not equal a number on the scale. And so as I started doing personal development, that was when my outlook on life started changing.

00;25;50;05 - 00;26;10;12
Marla Green
And, umm, at one point I just remember, after doing some training and some reading, I remember thinking, Marla, either you can learn to control this pain or this pain is going to continue to controlling you. What are you going to do?

00;26;17;22 - 00;26;48;17
Aunty Ky
Let's take a moment to pause and digest a little bit. I've had a moment just like that myself. It just resonates a lot with me because I remember thinking that same thought in regards to the fibromyalgia, because when you stop, that's when the pain gets worse. When you slow down, that's when the pain gets worse. And for a lot of people it's hard to stay motivated and you can honestly end up bedbound.

00;26;49;05 - 00;27;14;27
Aunty Ky
But I know that my story, my journey, the role I want to play as a community member, the role I want to play just for my own self esteem and well-being wasn't to just stop there, but that I felt like there was so much more of me that still wanted to contribute back and have something to give and have something to wake up to look forward to.

00;27;15;08 - 00;27;51;02
Aunty Ky
That I could offer of myself to other people. And yeah, once you hit that place where you're literally looking at the two pathways and going, you know, either it’s now or never or this is it, you can very clearly see what the other pathway would lead you to. And the crazy and difficult part of taking that step is how many unknowns there are in front of it, but it was definitely worth it. Before ending part one

00;27;51;10 - 00;28;17;03
Aunty Ky
I want to, of course, thank Marla Green for her time and let you all know about a free webinar she will conduct on Thursday, April 20th, through Educatrix. The topic is alternative approaches to health and wellbeing. Nurse practitioners, clinical nurse specialists, and registered nurses are eligible to receive continuing education credits from attending. Register at Educatrixseminars.com

00;28;17;12 - 00;28;39;25
Aunty Ky
That’s EducatrixSeminars.com Be sure to spread the information about this seminar to those who you think would be interested. Once you've had enough time to breathe and think. Click on the next button and we'll see you in part two. Take care.

Contact Marla Green, FNP-BC

Email:
hello@educatrixseminars.com

Webpage:
EducatrixSeminars.com

Register for the FREE Seminar

Alternative Approaches to Health and Wellbeing

Alternative Approaches to Health and Wellbeing

DATE: April 20th 12p-1:30p EST 1.5 CE Credits

 

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TAKUDZWA Soundcloud

 

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